THAT Guy
You hear the phone ring and take a look at the Caller ID, or see the email pop up. Oh no…It’s THAT person. You know the one. You have a history with him. He notices every typo and berates you in public for it. He’s not only exacting, but he’s also demanding. You feel like you have to be fast and perfect to make him satisfied. And he never asks an easy question.
As you read the email or listen to the voice mail (having dodged the call), your gut tightens. Your brow furrows. You are pretty sure your blood pressure just went up. You think, “I do not have time for this today. And I’ve got to get this exactly right…. I will be a good time manager and put it on my task list for tomorrow, first thing. That’s responsive enough.”
Great plan. Until life happens. The day blows up, you get into emergency mode, and the day zooms by. And you haven’t responded. Now we are up to day 3. Having heard nothing back, the guy communicates again. Loudly. Copying everyone, their supervisors, and their grandmother. Now you’ve got several people hounding you and a crisis on your hands. So much for being a good time manager.
It didn’t have to be that way.
Seize the Opportunity
It’s natural to make assumptions when you have a history with someone. If a person is demanding, you may assume that they not only want a perfect answer, but they also want it NOW. You are under stress. You do not make the best decisions when under stress.
Having a process in place can help.
For the most part, people want acknowledgment and then a solution, in that order. By time-blocking email and phone message responses a couple of times daily, you can proactively take care of the acknowledgment part.
There’s an opportunity hidden in the acknowledgment. This is your chance to negotiate a solution that benefits everyone.
“Thanks for your email. I want to make sure I get you what you need when you need it. And I would like to take a little time to do some research, if possible. Would it be OK if I got back to you on Thursday? If you need the answer more quickly, just let me know and I’ll see what I can rearrange for you.”
Key points:
- Fast acknowledgment with a message: “I hear you. I want to take good care of you”
- A reasonable and respectful request
- Both a request and an invitation to negotiate
- Non-confrontational way to determine the urgency of the request
Under Promise, Over Deliver
There’s an extra bonus built into this approach. In offering a negotiable solution, I am certain I can deliver the answer on Wednesday. If unforeseen circumstance rears its ugly head, my contingency planning makes it more likely I will deliver on time. And if things go well, I’ll be a day early and be a hero!
Our tendency may be to try and please people in the moment. This may lead to assuming a best-case scenario or overpromising. This will increase your stress and might set you up for failure. Stop. Breathe. Think with your head, not your heart.
Sounds Good…But Does It Work?
I started employing this strategy a couple of years ago. The results have been pleasantly surprising. About 8 out of 10 times, I find out the person is happy to wait a couple of days for the answer. In other cases, I am able to confirm this is a priority for the person. I do whatever reprioritization is necessary. Even in those cases, I can usually buy at least a little time.
They frequently appreciate the dedication to quality work. Sometimes I hear, “Thanks for getting back to me so quickly.” And I’ve turned a few critics into raving fans.
Give it a try. Let me know how it goes!
Oh, and my blood pressure is fine, thanks.
