It happens.  Sometimes self-inflicted, sometimes thrust upon us, and very frequently a combination of the two.  There will be periods of time when there’s just way too much to do.  Your mental RAM maxes out and your brain freezes up right when you need to move quickly from one thing to another.

Over the past couple of months, the circle of death of my mental laptop has been a frequent visitor.  All the work required to prepare to launch into self-employment again is bringing back memories. Neural pathways I thought were long gone have reappeared, for better and for worse.  I’ve been busier over the last thirty days than I’ve been in a very long time.  It will no doubt remain that way through August.  It’s a good problem to have in one way – I get to eat!  At the same time, these are the experiences that test one’s mettle.  The pressures that come from having way more on your plate than you can reasonably handle creates a crucible.  I started thinking about what I’ve learned through the years and watch myself act and react to the challenges of the day.  The process is often painful, but also beneficial. I’m remembering what I already knew and learning new stuff.  Here are a few things that keep flashing through my mind.  If you feel overwhelmed from time to time, I hope they help you in some way.

1.       Better a purpose than a plan.  When the pressure is on, sticking rigidly to the plan can be disastrous.  Things never work out perfectly, especially when there are time crunches and other uncontrollable variables impacting you.  Everything seems to take longer than you expect.  The stuff and people you thought you could count on might not come through.  Overwhelm teaches you to prioritize and reprioritize.  As conditions change, plans change.   Be clear on your purpose, your goal and the general direction to get there.  Be flexible or you’ll drive yourself batty.

2.       There’s gotta be light at the end of the tunnel.  If you know overwhelm is temporary, it’s doable.  If there’s no end in sight, you’re doomed.  Some people live in constant overwhelm.  They won’t live long.  The perpetual cortisol’s gonna kill them. If you can honestly say you’ve done everything in your power to manage the situation, and still can’t see the light (or worse yet, realize it’s a train), then perhaps it’s time to change direction.

3.       You’re gonna suck sometimes.  It’s OK.  Overwhelm may bring out the best in you, but it can definitely bring out the worst.  Little mistakes pop up.  Unclear communication mucks up the works, whether you’re speaking or listening.  Distracted actions, forgetfulness, you name it.  Stress + velocity (+ sleep deprivation) = errors.  Do your best to mitigate them, but don’t beat yourself up too much.  Look for support, ask for support and appreciate support.  Get a good proofreader. Or else you’ll find that this is where long-lost bad habits come back with a vengeance.  I grew up with a hot temper.  I’ve worked for decades to manage it and have gotten fairly good at it.  Well…it’s back.  The crucible is calling me out.  Neural pathways are burned in our brains by chance or by choice and they don’t go away.  The triggers are still there.  So, be aware of those triggers and do your best to choose to be your best self.  You won’t be perfect but don’t give up. 

4.       You’re gonna do amazing things.  Crucibles have huge upsides.  Stripped of the luxury of time to doubt yourself, you’ll do things before you think you are ready and they’ll work out just fine.  There’s a lesson there.  Pushed to what you thought was your limit, you’ll do more.  Or better. Or both.  You might be too busy to see it now. But you’ll look back and realize how remarkable you were.

5.       Remember your Why.  There was a reason you decided this thing was worth it.  Keep that vision close in mind.  Remember how this ties into your personal governing values.

6.       Moments matter.  This is when it’s really hard to stay in the moment.  You’ll be tempted to be in the future a little too much. Annnnd go back to #3.   You’ll find yourself thinking and saying, “I don’t have time.”  Just remember this is primarily an emotional response, not an analytical one.  You probably don’t have time to spend on superfluous things.  But you certainly have time to invest a few moments to lock eyes with the person you are talking to and really listen to the whole sentence.  To look up and appreciate a beautiful blue sky, to laugh, to smile, to connect.  And perhaps most importantly, stop, drop and roll.  Pausing will feel counterintuitive.  Yet, doing so for a minute or two to take a breath, to analyze, to recalibrate, and to refresh will be a time investment in the long run. 

7.       Be grateful (and be ready to apologize).  Say thanks.  A lot.  And realize you’re going to miss a cue or a nuance.  You’ll say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing.  Be quick to apologize.

8.       Feed your soul.  Hopefully you have a routine that allows you the time and space to invest in yourself.  In overwhelm, those routines tend to fall by the wayside.  It’s best if you can stick with them, but if you fall off the wagon, beware of all-or-nothing thinking.  If you can’t seem to do everything to feed yourself, do something.   I’ve found audio learning in the car has been a great benefit.  I also thought about little things that fill me up and will look for opportunities to enjoy them – the sound of my daughter’s laugh, watching the grandkids play, quiet sunsets, just a page or two from an upbuilding book or blog or article, a little prayer, a smile from a friend.  They all light me up.  They all remind me of the best things in life.

What feeds your soul?  If you can’t eat a full meal right now, at least grab a nice, healthy, little snack.

Hang in there.  It sounds trite but it really is all good.  The crucible helps you see yourself more clearly.  You’ll learn and you’ll grow.  It won’t go exactly as you planned, but you’ll be in a different place when it’s all said and done.  And regardless of the exact result, what you learn along the way will make it worth it.  Even if you fall flat on your face, as long as the process leads you to see, appreciate and live your values more completely and your life more fully, you win.