Some years ago, my daughter decided to follow my footsteps and enter the community association management business. Of course, I was tickled to death, but I was a little nervous. I have the utmost confidence in Meagan, but the position she accepted was a tough introduction into the industry. It didn’t help that she was stuck with my last name – there would be those who would credit any success she achieved to nepotism. Sure enough, she accepted the challenge and every other challenge that has confronted her since, leaving me very proud…and also grateful she’s got a lot of her mother in her.

So I figured it was time for a note from Dad. I was hoping she could avoid the mistakes I made along the way if I shared what I’d learned. My subtitle was “20 things learned over 28 years in business.” Meagan really enjoyed it. I stumbled upon it a while ago and chatted with her about it. Being the generous soul she is, she is allowing me to share the 20 thoughts with you. I hope you find some value here.

1.  The correct hierarchy for problem solving is (l)Why (2)What (3)How (4)Who. When someone skips right to #4, one person wins for a minute and everybody loses in the long run.

2.  Figure out if you are seeing a system problem, a performance problem, or a combination of both. Otherwise you are answering the wrong question.

3.  You are either part of solutions or part of problems – always seek to be the latter. There is no sitting on the fence. The fence is usually part of the problem.

4.  Focus on the solution, not the problem, every time.

5.  If it appears someone is looking wrong or stupid, try to find a way to give them a graceful exit. They will appreciate it even if they don’t say so.

6.  Let other people make decisions and take positions because they have decided everyone either wears a black hat or a white hat. For your part, remember that most are some shade of gray & that it’s generally irrelevant anyway. The idea is more valuable to the organization than the person that expresses it. Persons are valuable to the organization for the ideas and integrity they lend to the organization.

7.  Never forget humility is a strength, not a weakness.

8.  You are not perfect. That’s OK. Striving to be perfect in flawless service to the client is the key, not being perfect. You can always do the former. You can never do the latter. This frees you up from feeling like you have to defend your imperfection.

9.  Doing your best is good enough, so long as you embrace both sides of the paradox of human imperfection. It is unreasonable to expect better than someone’s best at a given point in time – but since we are imperfect our best can almost always get a little better.

10.  “Never let negative people rent space in your mind.” – Mike Gilmore

11.  Always communicate on a basis of principle. Most people, especially in dysfunctional situations, operate on a ego basis. By sticking to principle, you put others in a position to elevate from ego to principle. If they fail to elevate this time, maybe next time.

12.  Sucking up is NOT customer service. Politics is NOT customer service. Fluffing and telling someone what you think they want to hear (even if not fully correct) is different from tact and is NOT customer service. Sucking up, politics, and fluffing are the enemies of excellent customer service. Honesty, integrity, and genuine caring are excellent customer service’s best friends.

13.  Always take the long view and beware expediency. It will only bite you in the butt in the long run. You just don’t know how, when or where.

14.  “Never wrestle with pigs- you get dirty and they enjoy it.” – Will Rogers

15.  The best managers are warriors at heart. Warriors know what the goal is, why the goal is important, and what their role is in reaching the goal. A warrior cannot be afraid to die, acting with discipline but boldly, and that is how they survive battles, conquer obstacles, and win wars.

16.  Apply Jim Fannin’s “90-Second Rule” whenever necessary proactively by design, and reactively when needed.

17.  “An answer, when mild, turns away rage.” -Proverbs 15:1

18.  Mentally separate the negative/ineffective person from their value system as expressed through their actions, and their performance from their value as a human being. That way you can respect them as human beings without compromising standards, and love them even if you hate what they do.

19.  Turning around a difficult, ingrained situation takes time. You have to be patient. It’s like building up a wall that’s fallen down over time. All you can do is build it back up one brick at a time. Given enough time and skill, you can help build a strong structure. Set each brick properly – strong and straight.

20.  When you choose to adopt the mindset to do all the stuff above, be ready for others to say you are being self-serving or self-righteous. You will be OK as long as you stay humble, and remember it’s about principle and not you. Fishermen know they don’t have to put a lid on the crab basket because the crabs will continually pull each other down as soon as one tries to climb up. Don’t get pulled down. Transcend with graciousness. Put other people in a position to do the right thing, and leave it alone. They have to choose and make it their own. Manage yourself, lead others, even if it’s only by example.